A vow to myself

I’ve always been a little overweight. I’m not totally active and I pretty much eat what I want. It’s not that I eat whole pints of ice cream in one sitting, or that I can eat a whole pizza. I snack, I graze and I’m one of those people who gets frustrated that other people can eat all sorts of horrible things and remain thin. But I have to keep reminding myself that thin doesn’t mean healthy and food doesn’t have to be horrible for it to taste good.

One time a family member said something along the lines of “If you’re a vegetarian why are you fat?” Those may not have been those exact words, I honestly can’t remember them but that’s the blunt summary of her comment. That’s a good question, though rudely stated. Sometimes I feel like I’m not even a vegetarian. The word vegetarian is so close to the word vegetable and while I haven’t had meat in almost 3 years, I still don’t eat that many vegetables! Now, don’t get me wrong I eat a lot more than I used to, but I still eat my fair share of pasta and bagels and all sorts of “easy” foods to prepare.

But today I am taking a stand… against myself. I do want to lose weight for my wedding, but it’s more than that. I want to lose weight for my health. Even if I don’t lose that much weight, I want to know that I am healthy and that I am taking care of the only body that I will ever have. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink (maybe a few times a year), but I eat horribly. Mostly because I tend to feel so limited and frustrated. I grew up eating meat daily and it’s hard to adjust my thinking and my creativity with food. There are really so many options out there and just because I am unfamiliar with them doesn’t mean I have to eat bread and pasta for the rest of my life.

A few semesters ago I met a girl who was raised Vegetarian. One guy in our group asked how we deal with craving meat. We both replied that we don’t. I don’t because the thought of it just makes me uncomfortable and grossed out now. The texture, the fact that it’s a corpse. Eating a cooked corpse. I can’t do it. But the other girl said “I don’t crave meat, I’ve never had meat. I was raised to not look at meat as food. Would you eat this desk? That’s how I think of meat.” I thought that was amazing. To be raised that way and not have a skewed point of view that I HAD to have meat in my diet.

I vow to eat more veggies, I vow to think before I eat that frozen cheese pizza because I’m too lazy to think of what else I can eat.

I vow to treat my body to the healthy lifestyle it deserves.

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